Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Part 9: Punk Patrol
by McDuck1245
Summary: Joel Joestar is a young man who lives in the grand city of Morioh. His friends accidentally finds an arrow. Adventure ensues. Rated T due to language and blood.


A man in his twenties was walking down a road. It was a busy road today as it was a festival. People were brimming with happiness, you could see candied apples, cotton candy and multiple other sweets being sold at different small stands. He was a businessman, you could see that because he was carrying a suitcase. And this suitcase contained something horrifying.

A kid ran into the man and he dropped the suitcase. The inside falling out.

"Ouch."

* * *

"Hey Joel! Come over here!" A young woman yelled. A boy with dark blue hair looked towards the shouting. The shouting came from his loud friend Akemi Yamamoto. She was an upbeat slim girl with purple hair which reached her shoulders. Joel himself was 188cm (about 6'2) tall, had a pretty regular shaped body, a light red hoodie with a big print that said 'JOESTAR' on it, blue jeans with some tears in them and blue hair which was swept to the side. His full name was Joel Joestar. It was originally Joel Kira, but he changed his name due to his father being a descendant of the famous Johnny Joestar.

Joel started making his way over to his friend who was as overly excited as ever. He jumped over a branch, elevating himself with his hand and wondered what made her happy this time when he saw a suitcase on the ground. Curious about what the suitcase included he opened it and saw an arrow. It looked disgusting, it was as if someone took someones leg and mended it into the shape of an arrow. Akemi picked up the arrow and looked at it with some kind of curiosity in her eyes.

"I wonder if it's sharp..." She said absentmindedly while moving the tip of it towards her finger. Joel understood that something was wrong. You shouldn't poke yourself with something random you find, especially not if it's in a suitcase.

"Akemi, no!" But it was too late as the arrow had already pierced her skin.

"Ouch!" She exclaimed as she looked at her finger. A droplet of blood was trickling down it, slowly flowing towards her palm. She slowly pushed her finger inside her mouth, pulling it out with a loud 'POP'. It looked way too sexual for Joel's taste.

"Why are you sucking your own blood?" He questioned her. He wanted to say more but got surprised when a spirit looking sword appeared in her hands.

"Why are you pointing that sword at me?" He shouted with confusion. But not before a spirit entity appeared next to him as well. He knew what it was. His dad had taught him about it. It was his stand which he had named Daft Punk. His ability was to replace. The substances or materials he replaced with each other had to be in the same phase. He could replace air in a body with smoke, or blood with gasoline. As long as he had it close to him.

Before he knew it, Akemi had swung her blade, attempting to cut off his arm. But before she could cut it off he had already replaced it with the branch from when he made it over to her. Tears were streaming down her face, as if she didn't want to hurt him.

Daft Punk was a humanoid stand with an X shape on it's torso. The X shape had the word Joestar on it going diagonally. It wore a golden helmet that looked robotic with a black visor. It had no legs and instead just had a small wisp.

Joels left arm appeared again and the log was put back in its original place. He tried to look around him for clues on why she was acting this way when he saw a man standing on the bridge behind them. He was kind of menacing, and the instance Joel saw him he knew he was up to something. His dad, Yoshikage Kira, had always told him that stand users attract other stand users.

A slice was directed towards Joel again and this time his finger got hit. It fell off without any visible blood. He backed off and tried to run for the bridge but was stopped by something slicing off his foot. Akemi's stand was very fast. Or was it Akemi who was fast? Joel didn't know. But he fell to his right and started to roll towards the river. He tried to stop himself, digging his nails deep in the ground. The sword sliced his left hand off and he started rolling again until he stopped right before falling in.

A foot was placed on his chest, almost pushing him into the rapids. But it wasn't Akemi this time. It was the businessman from the bridge.

"You have a cut on your fingertip." Joel stated, he had replaced a bolt with a thorn before. Right were the man had his hand. The cut was small but evident. The man was surprised and lost his focus for a split second. Joel summoned his stand and started punching the man.

"SA SA SA SA SA SA SA" A repeted sound could be heard before the businessman was blown back. The man didn't say anything when he stood up. The thing controlling Akemi had disappeared and Joel had regained his foot and left hand. Akemi herself had curled up into a ball, crying her eyes out. Joel disliked seeing people cry, especially girls so he knew he wouldn't forgive this man.

"I, Haruno Shiobana, have a dream." The businessman stood up while talking. "And that dream is to get rid of every single Joestar!" The man summoned his stand. It took the appearance of an elegant man in a full suit as if he was gonna go to a meeting. The stand had a goat's head and horns shaped like a ram's. The only thing was that the goat's head had no fur or flesh and was just made of bones.

"I'm gonna kill all Joestars with my stand: Eurythmics!" Joel looked surprised at this but still focused on what the man said. He felt furious. This man had the audacity to proclaim something like that right after making a woman cry.

"You have already lost. You lost when you made Akemi cry!" Joel exclaimed. The blood on the man's finger got replaced with a transparent liquid and he quickly turned pale. "I just replaced the blood in your veins with water!"

The man couldn't say anything and water poured out of his mouth. He made a sound which sounded a bit like a cat growling before throwing a punch towards Joel which hit the latter on the cheek. Joel spiraled a bit before landing on the ground. His teeth felt weird, as if they were rotting. He looked toward Shiobana to look for an explanation, but found none.

"My stand has the power to take any object's life. As long as it's not human flesh!" Joel understood that Shiobana had stolen the life of his teeth and realized that, since he got punched, the effect of his stand stopped.

"Shit." He whispered to himself before standing up again. Fully ready to battle this man. But, when looking towards where the man had been standing, he noticed that he was gone. "Where did he go?"

A punch to the back of his head made him wobble and fall forward. He turned around to see Shiobana with his fist in the air, smirking. What Shiobana didn't realize was that Joel had summoned his stand while falling and it pushed itself, and Joel, off the ground. Joel shot up in the air and landed behind the man.

"SA SA SA SA SA SA SA SA SA SA SA SA SA SA" The blows were delivered quickly, showing off the great speed of Daft Punk. "Sayonara!" Joel delivered the final line, showing that he had won. Shiobana was on the ground, bleeding.

"I promise you that my gang... will kill you... Joel Joestar!" The man's head dropped down and his face smashed into the ground. He wasn't dead. Joel had made sure not to punch him too hard. But the fact still stood, this man had tried to murder them and Joel had no idea what to do about him. He didn't want to kill anyone, that was not his cup of tea.

"Joel... what was that?" Akemi asked. Joel looked scared for a second. How would he explain this to her?

* * *

**Daft Punk**

**Abilities: **_Can replace objects or substances with each other. The user has to have touched the objects before being able to replace them. The objects have to be in the same phase, meaning gas, liquid or solid._

**Reference: **_The band: Daft Punk_

**Strength: B Speed: A Range: C **

**Durability: A Precision: A Potential: C**

* * *

**Eurythmics**

**Abilities: **_It can steal the life of anything non-human, excluding bones. It can create dangerous molds and rot bones._

**Reference:** _The band: Eurythmics_

**Strength: C Speed: B Range: D**

**Durability: A Precision: B Potential: E**

* * *

The hospital was empty except for the staff. Joel made a faux disturbed face as he tried to explain to the doctors that he found the man by the riverside, fainted. One thing he learned that day was that stands didn't leave fingerprints. A woman entered Joel's view and told him that he could see the patient.

He entered the room and saw the man who had tried to kill him. He was pretty roughed up and he had stitches in his face.

"Mr. Shiobana, wake up." Joel said. The man started stretching and looked at the boy speaking to him.

"Who's Shiobana? My name is Kawasaki Fusako." Joel stared at the man, baffled. Why did his name change?

"You clearly told me that your name was Haruno Shiobana!" Joel exclaimed. This didn't make sense, it was too bizarre. This man had been controlled by some other stand, just like Akemi. It seemed that the control was related to blood. Or maybe the arrow. Joel didn't know.

"I don't know any Haruno Shiobana! I don't know that much, it's like I have amnesia." Kawasaki said.

Joel hoped he hadn't given the man amnesia, he did punch him a lot after all.

"Were you the one with that suitcase?" Kawasaki nodded.

"I was told to give it to someone who called himself Hashi. But I accidentally pricked my toe on this weird arrow when this kid ran into me." That meant that the arrow had some kind of connection to the stand Akemi manifested. It made sense, but how many of those flesh looking arrows were there? They could've spread far.

"Well, do you remember who you got the arrow from?" Joel asked, wanting to know about this strange object.

"No, I just faintly remember a name... I think it was... Miyazaki."

The room became silent, no one knew what to say, this whole thing was way too weird. Joel though of a thing, what if he brought this to the police? Would they even care? Were there other stand users around the grand city of Morioh? And with that thought, and a nod towards the man on the bed, he left.

* * *

"I'd like to report something to the police." Joel said to the receptionist.

"What crime?" The woman sounded extremely uninterested and bored. Joel didn't blame her though. It's not as if being a receptionist is the most interesting job ever.

"I want to know if you have someone called Haruno Shiobana in your registers." The woman instantly looked shocked and stood up quickly, only to excuse herself and run towards the back door.

After staring at the clock, which was moving very slowly, for a long time, the woman finally came back. "Would you please follow me?" She asked, looking excited, as if it was the first time in forever someone came in with something interesting. As they walked through a corridor, towards where she was leading him too, she asked him what his full name was.

"My name's Joel Joestar." Her eyes widened once again. It was as if she knew who he was.

"You mean that you're a Joestar?"

"Isn't that what I said?"

"That would mean that you're in great danger! We need to hurry at once!"

Joel saw two doors in front of him, he guessed that this was the place he was supposed to enter. The woman opened one of the doors and they stepped in.

The room they entered looked like a normal conference hall, but four men and one woman were sitting around the table. Joel could instantly see what everyone was like. One man had a black leather jacket with barbed shoulderpads on. He had no other shirt and his chest and stomach was showing. He had a dark red mohawk and a piercing in his nose. He had to be a delinquent type of guy.

Another man looked old and had a giant moustache. His gray hair had green colored stripes in it and he had a stern look on his face. He was wearing a gray button-up shirt and some brown loafers. He had tuxedo pants on as well. He seemed to be one of those men who said "Back in my day!"

The girl was Akemi, it seems that she told the police what happened to her and they took her back here.

Two men looked like twins. They were wearing the same clothes as one another. One of them had black tracksuit pants, while the other one had white tracksuit pants. The one with the black tracksuit pants had a white tracksuit jacket while the one with white tracksuit pants had a black tracksuit jacket. The one with black pants had black hair and the other one had white hair. They really looked identical. They had backslicked hair which ended with the tips of the hair curving upward.

"Hey, who's this punk?" Said the guy with the mohawk. "Does he want a fight?"

"This here is Joel Joestar. He has also had an encounter with Haruno Shiobana." Said the woman who escorted him there.

"You mean he's to become an undercover cop?" The old man said. "If so I wouldn't mind teaching this whippersnapper a thing or two!"

"An undercover cop?" Joel asked, feeling confused.

"You haven't told him?" The twins spoke in unison.

"Unfortunately I haven't." Said the receptionist. "You see, Joel, we're a band of undercover cops and we would like you and your friend Akemi to join us. I am the leader of the undercover cops. My name's Ikumi Maiko, pleased to meet you."

Ikumi bowed in front of Joel and he bowed back. Then he turned his eyes towards the rest of the people in this room.

"The name's Hideo Junto, don't wear it out." The delinquent said.

"My name is Mukuro Nakahide, pleased to meet you." Said the old man.

"Our names are Akihiko and Akihiro, and we're the bestest twins!" Said the two almost identical men.

"I... you already know me Joel..." Akemi said.

Everyone turned quiet and looked towards Joel.

"Ah, I'm Joel Joestar, and this is my stand, Daft Punk." The humanoid stand looked like it came out of him, as if it was his flesh.

"Are you retarded? Why show us your stand? What if we betray you?" Hideo yelled angrily.

"I'm not expecting you to show me your stands. I just wanted to show you that I'm no enemy." Joel said reasonably.

Hideo got so angry that you could see a vein in his head pop. A stand manifested on his hands. It was just two big knuckles which didn't have a single scratch on them. "You wanna fucking go? I'll kill you!" He then realized what he did and looked embarassed. "This is my stand... Hozier. Not gonna tell you what it does though, punk!"

The old man laughed loudly, one of those old man laughs as he showed his stand. It had a head which looked like a balloon with a scribbled face on it. The head was attached to the body with a string. The body itself looked a bit like the Michelin Man. The whole stand was gray with various green words saying stuff like: 'Float' or 'Fly'. "This is my stand St. Elsewhere. It gives anything the properties of a balloon."

"We're not gonna tell you, you'll have to find out yourself" The twins pulled down their eyelids and stuck their toungues out, in unison of course.

This was gonna be fun.

* * *

**St. Elsewhere**

**Abilities: **_Gives people the properties of a balloon._

**Reference: **_Gnarls Barkley's album with the same name._

**Strength: D Speed: C Range: A**

**Durability: A Precision: A Potential: D**

* * *

**Hozier**

**Abilities: **_Unknown_

**Reference: **_The singer with the same name._

**Strength: A Speed: B Range: E**

**Durability: A Precision: ? Potential: E**


End file.
